It's morning again and the room looks the same. Every friggin' piece of furniture just standing there like laughing at me. Every part hurts because I've been working the whole night - and I'm not finished. Every piece of me aches, but nothing compared to that hidden, locked, chocked feeling I have inside.
The sky was pink during the night and now it gets this blue shade, greyish. It pains me to know that's going to be difficult every day. So much I can't stand right now: the fact that's morning one more time, there is no hand to pull me off this chair and put me in bed to sleep, my body fails on me and I have to close my eyes for 0ne or two hours, and the worse; there will be no feet under my blanket to warm mine.
It's morning again and the birds sing in their ignorance. They don't know for me it's the same day, I'll work untill I pass out and I'll remember I can't do it anymore. I'll suddenly realize one more time, I don't like to be around people. I also know it's the biggest fat lie I tell. Through my teeth I repeat that.
It's morning again, and no one knows I think everyone makes such a difference in the world. Nobody knows I wish we all could smile more often and all the days could be the happiest.
It's morning again, and I still don't think there will someone for me in the world.
It's morning again, and from here I can overhear a woman crying somewhere in the neighbourhood.
It's morning again. The same day awakes and I, lonely, sleep.
It's morning again and the birds sing in their ignorance. They don't know for me it's the same day, I'll work untill I pass out and I'll remember I can't do it anymore. I'll suddenly realize one more time, I don't like to be around people. I also know it's the biggest fat lie I tell. Through my teeth I repeat that.
It's morning again, and no one knows I think everyone makes such a difference in the world. Nobody knows I wish we all could smile more often and all the days could be the happiest.
It's morning again, and I still don't think there will someone for me in the world.
It's morning again, and from here I can overhear a woman crying somewhere in the neighbourhood.
It's morning again. The same day awakes and I, lonely, sleep.
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2 comments:
I'd like to sleep all day and awake when it's dark. It's so quiet when the sun went down. Nobody's talking, nobody's driving, everything is asleep. I get out, sit down on the doorsteps, light a cigarett and feel the cold as it seizes me. Everything has a warm yellow tone because the streetlights are floating that warm color onto everything. This is just when the bitter-sweet memorys take over of times I was sitting there waiting for her to come and get into bed and feel her as she warms me as I warm her and sinking into oblivion.
It's still very nice to sit on the doorsteps smoking, the world has not changed. It's only the way we look at things. But I can't deny I'm feeling more lonely than ever before sitting there waiting. Lying in bed awake. Waiting for a new day changing everything but when the sun rises you realise it won't happen.
Hell is inside ones head. And there is no deus ex machina to save us, even if we can't do it ourself.
Oh I just rediscovered Bright Eyes' great music and the song describing this whole situation I'm in for a long time now, called "Sunrise, sunset". I could upload it if you'd like to listen, or you just get the "Fevers & Mirrors"-album containing this song and other really really great songs. And "Letting of the happiness" is also a really really album with really nice lyrics and songs and emotions. Just thought it might interest you.
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