Doing some more crying in the rain

I guess it will never stop raining again. Good, I hope I can always hide near the building and ruin my hair in the rain, but let all bad out.
I've-got-my-pride-and-I-know-I-could-hide-all-my -sorrow-and-pain.

The real bitch about being down, is that you know you'll be up eventually, and even being aware of that can't just get up and move on. I mean, I can't. There's always someone to criticize me about it. So I just decided stop speaking - for God knows how long. No sound, but the strictly necessary, will come out from this weird crooked mouth of mine.

I remebered these people that like to judge everything others do. I think I'm just too dumb for this life-business, don't know how to hide feelings, play THE game (I don't even know what the heck people are refering to when they mention it). It's simple as that: If I'm happy, I smile. If I'm sad, I cry, I mean what I say and only say someting if I mean it. See nothing wrong with that - which is exactly what goes wrong with me. I see nothing unusual. Anyway, I do get tired of myself as well, so why shouldn't others?

Tonight all I wanted was wine, see snow outside, a huge chocolate bar and Daniel Brühl (What's taking him so long anyway?).

Over and over

It's morning again and the room looks the same. Every friggin' piece of furniture just standing there like laughing at me. Every part hurts because I've been working the whole night - and I'm not finished. Every piece of me aches, but nothing compared to that hidden, locked, chocked feeling I have inside.

The sky was pink during the night and now it gets this blue shade, greyish. It pains me to know that's going to be difficult every day. So much I can't stand right now: the fact that's morning one more time, there is no hand to pull me off this chair and put me in bed to sleep, my body fails on me and I have to close my eyes for 0ne or two hours, and the worse; there will be no feet under my blanket to warm mine.
It's morning again and the birds sing in their ignorance. They don't know for me it's the same day, I'll work untill I pass out and I'll remember I can't do it anymore. I'll suddenly realize one more time, I don't like to be around people. I also know it's the biggest fat lie I tell. Through my teeth I repeat that.
It's morning again, and no one knows I think everyone makes such a difference in the world. Nobody knows I wish we all could smile more often and all the days could be the happiest.
It's morning again, and I still don't think there will someone for me in the world.
It's morning again, and from here I can overhear a woman crying somewhere in the neighbourhood.
It's morning again. The same day awakes and I, lonely, sleep.